Spaceballs: the cartoon x-over edition
by chimera hunter
Summary: Follow the journey of Sora Starr, Goof, and Princess Kairi and thier friends as they keep President Riku, Dark Roxas, and colonel Axel along with the spaceball military from stealing the fresh air from Planet Druidea! based on the film Spaceballs by Mel Brooks. Spaceballs is copyrighte by Mel Brooks, and MGM studios. Rated T for strong language and some sexual references
1. Chapter 1

Spaceballs: The cartoon-X-over version

parody on the sci-fi parody film "Spaceballs" by Mel Brooks (A parody on a parody)

*all gags and lines are from the film

Starring:

Sora as Captain Lone Starr

Goofy as Barfolomew (Barf)

Kairi as Princess Vespa

Namine as Dot Matrix

Riku as President Skroob

Donald Duck as Yogurt

Roxas as Lord Dark Helmet

Lex Luthor as King Roland

Axel as Colonel Sandurz

Aqua as Commanderette Zircon

Abe sapien as Radar Technician

Data(star trek: nemesis) as Prince Valium

Carter Pewterschmidt as Pizza the Hutt (voice)

Marcus Fenix as Kane

Cyberman leader(fourth doctor) as Radio Operator

Terra as Minister

Karl Ruprecht Kronen(Hellboy) as Dr. Phillip Schlotkin

Demyx as Captain of the Guard

Misato Katsuragi as Waitress

Pete as Prison guard

franchise villians(Cybermen, stormtroopers, covenant troops, etc.) as Troopers

Cylon(1978 version) as hanger trooper

Rei Ayanami as Nurse

Fox McCloud as King Roland's aide (uncredited)

Kevin(ed, edd, n eddy) as Vinnie

original story made by Mel Brooks

parody by Chimeran hunter

*Kingdom Hearts vs Resistance is stil being made.


	2. Chapter 2

All lines from the film are used from a script I found on the internet, the author

Chapter 1 DarK Roxas and colonel Axel's plan and the wedding

Once upon a time warp...

In a galaxy very, very, very, very away, there lived a ruthless race of beings known as...SPACEBALLS

Chapter Eleven

The evil leaders of Planet Spaceball, having foolishly squandered their precious atmosphere, have devised a secret plan to take every breath of air away from thier peace-loving neighbor, Planet Druidia.

Today is Princess Kairi's wedding, Unbeknownest to the princess but knowest to us, danger lurks in the stars above...

if you can read this, you don't need glasses

In the cold emptyness of space, a large spaceship flew by. The ship was several meters long had numerus defenses, and back of the ship had a large bumper sticker that said "WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY.". The bridge on the inside of the ship was large. numerus villians worked at the controls. There different types of villians, from cylons to chimera, these goons were simply following order made by their evil leaders. The commanding officer was a human with red hair who watched the window that showed nothing but space. suddenly a cyberman leader stood up and came up to his superior. Colonel Axel!, the cyberman leader leader told the colonel. What is it Sargent?, Axel responded. You told me to let you know the moment Planet Druidia was in sight, sir, the cyberman leader told Axel. So, Axel responded as if the cyberman leader asked a stupid question. Planet Druidia is in sight, sir, the cyberman leader told Axel while repeating most of what it said. You're really a Spaceball. You know that, don't you?, Axel asked his minority. Thanks, sir, the cyberman leader said as it took Axel's remark as a complement. Have you notified Dark Roxas? Axel asked. Yes sir. I took the liberty. He's on his way, the cyberman leader answered.

Suddenly a loud voice came on over the intercom out of nowhere as if it was waiting for the cyberman to say what he said. MAKE WAY FOR DARK ROXAS!, the voice said and Axel responded by telling the personel on the bridge by saying: All rise in the presense of Dark Roxas! All the sitting personel stood up as an alarm went off. The black door opened slowly, revealing a masked figure dressed all in black, including his tie, and the back ends of his gloves had silver squares and an imtimidating helmet with an imtimidating faceplate. He walked towards the front of the bridge while a elite, another human, and a soldier heartless cowarded in fear for facing his wrath. When Dark Roxas reached the front of the bridge, his breathing became more labored and then moved up his faceplate mask and revealed his real face and took deep breaths , he was a teenager with narrowed spiky hair was a blonde like color. I can't breathe in this thing!, Roxas said with his deep beathing. Axel came up to his superior to tell him of the news he had. We're approaching Planet Druidia, sir, Axel said to Roxas. Good, Roxas said in a proud manner. I'll call Spaceball City,and notify President Riku immediatly, he continued as he went to and picked up the convenently placed phone on the desk. I already called him, sir. He knows everything, the still standing cyberman leader to Roxas. Roxas became angry as the cyberman leader said this and slammed the phone back on it's reciever. What?, Roxas said in angry tone You went over my helmet?, Roxas continued. Well, not exactly over it, sir. more to the side. I'll always call you first. It'll never happen again. Never, ever!, the cyberman leader told Roxas in a scared tone, for fear of what might happen. Roxas, still angry put a ring on his ring finger and the cyberman leader' fear grew even more. Oh shit! No, no, no, no, no, please, no, no, please, no, not that, the cyberman leader yelled for mercy from his superior as he covered his neck. Roxas pulled his faceplate down, Yes. That, he said in a deep voice as he shot a green ray at the cyberman leader's crouch. Whaoooooooo! Owwwwwwwwww! the cyberman leader screamed in pain as he grabbed his crouch in a failed attempt to block the ray and then fell to the floor. Two Helghast soldiers came and took their comrade away. Colonel Axel! Roxas said as he faced his second in command. Sir?, Axel asked Roxas as he covered his crouch, for fear of facing the same fate. I don't see Planet Druidia . Where is it? Roxas asked Axel while looking for the planet through the windows. We don't have visual contact yet, sir, but we have it on the radar screen. Shall I punch it up for you?, Axel asked. Na, nevermind, Roxas answered, I'll do it myself. Very good sir, Axel responded. Axel and Roxas went to a row of machine and Roxas stopped at the first machine he saw. What the hell's the matter with this thing? What's all the churning and bubbling? Roxas asked. You call that a radar screen? No sir, we call it, "Mr. Coffee." Axel told Roxas, Care for some? He asked. Yes! I always have coffee when I watch radar. You know that, Roxas answered. Of course I do sir, Axel said. Everybody does, do they?, Roxas said. OF COURSE WE DO SIR!, everyone in the room said as they covered their crouches.

Roxas toke the coffee from it's holder, Now that I have my coffee, I'm ready to watch radar, Roxas said, Where is it?, he asked. Right here, sir, Axel told Roxas as he pointed to the machine's label (Mr. Radar). Switch to teleview, Roxas ordered Axel. Axel then changed the screen that then showed an Earth like planet with an atmosphere that looked like a shield. There it is, Planet Druidia, and and underneath the air shield, ten thousand years of fresh air. We must get through that air shield, Roxas said. We will, sir, Axel responded, Once we kidnap the princess , we will force her father, King Roland, to give us the combination to the air shield. Thereby destroying Planet Druidia and saving Planet Spaceball. Everybody got that?, Roxas asked the reader, Good! When will the princess be married? he asked Axel. Within the hour, Axel responded. Well, I hpe it's a long ceremony, 'cause it's gonna be a short honeymoon, Roxas said to Axel. They both laughed as Roxas took a drink of his coffee. Mmmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmmm! Roxas muffeled. Axel hit Roxas' back and Roxas spat out his coffee and his face plate fell down. Hot! Too Hot!, Roxas said in his deep voice.

Planet Druidia

The courtyard was busy that afternoon and the fountain was gushing. A nearby church had a sign on it that showed the events that were happening "TODAY, THE ROYAL WEDDING OF PRINCESS KAIRI AND PRINCE DATA VALIUM, TOMORROW, BINGO.". Inside a waiting room Fox McCloud fixed King Lex Luthor Roland's outfit to make more presentable to the waiting crowd while Kairi was pacing, waiting for something or someone. Oh, if only your mother were alive to see this day, Lex told his daughter, Kairi. All right is everyone ready?, Lex asked everyone in the room. Yes, your majesty, Fox said. No!, Kairi yelled Where's my nobody of honor? she asked. Oh dear, yes. Fox said Namine? Namine? Namine Matrix? Fox called for. Namine arrived quickly, looking relived, she wore blue sandals and white dress, she appeared to be younger than Kairi. Oh thank god, Fox said, Where've have you been?, he asked Namine. Here I am, I'm sorry, she said, she continued I had to make a pit stop. I so excited, I couldn't hold my bladder, she said. An organ started playing which ment that it was time. All right, people. It's magic time, Fox said in an excited tone. All right, everyone starting on the left foot, Lex said, but instead he puts his right foot out, which Kairi notices. Daddy that's your right foot, Kairi told her father. It's too late. Keep going, Lex whispered to her. The group came down the asile while Shinji Ikari played "Here comes the bride" on the giant organ. Daddy, Kairi said as she stopped. Shinji stopped playing after noticing the group stopping. Must I go through this?, Kairi asked her father. I'm sorry, my dear, you have to, Lex answered. The group then started moving down the aisle again and Shinji continued playing. But, Daddy, Kairi beg Lex as she stop again, and Shinji stops playing again leaving a decaying and sour note while giving a long sigh because of the delay. I don't love him, She told her father. I'm sorry, Kairi, Lex told his daughter, he's the last prince left in the galaxy, he continued. They looked at Kairi's forced husband to be. Data had pale white skin, and a emotionless look but gave a smile, which broke as he gave a yawn, he had girlish hair he made for the occassion. The group reached the altar with no futher delay and the priest, Terra began speaking. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today on this most joyous occaision, Terra continued, to witness Princess Kairi, daughter of King Lex Roland..., Kairi then started to run toward the door, bring Namine along for the ride. ...going right past the alter heading down the ramp, and out the door!, Terra said while watching this. Stop her! Someone, stop her! Stop her!, Lex yell as he and everyone in the room exited the same door. Meanwhile, Kairi and Namine exited the chapel and began to enter the car that was meant fo her and the prince to leave for their honeymoon. Hey wait! Namine yelled at Kairi, You forgot ro get married. Will you stop? she continued. The two be gin to enter the car. Kairi opens the door to the dirver's side to prepare for launch. What are you doing? Namine asked Kairi. No questions, Namine. Get in. Kairi responded. The car started up and the ramp it was on started to tilt to allow the car to launch into space. Everyone else then exited the chapel to find out what she was doing. What is she doing? Where is she going?, Lex asked the people, much to their comfusion. The car then launch into space. Come baaaack! Data siad as he yawned at the same time.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 2: Introducing, Sora Starr, Goofy, and President Riku

"sorry about any spelling mistakes in chapter 1, it was really late when I typed it"

"Sora, Kairi, and Riku are shown in thier Kingdom Hearts 2 versions"

A Winnebago with wings flew by somewhere by where the princess and Namine where by. The paint job looked somewat rusted, A sticker on the side door showed the name "EAGLE 5', the winnebago's name. The back showed a holder for a spare tire and a bumper sticker that said "I HEART URANUS". Inside, there was a 15 year old boy with spiky hair that was a caramel-like color and wore black and yellow clothes with baggy shorts and black and yellow finger less gloves with an amulet like object on the top of each one, sleeping with an archilogist's hat on his head that covered his eyes while music was faintly heard in the back. A light that said "AUTOMATIC PILOT" was flashing and the wheel moved slowly and very little. Inside the room where the music was playing. A slim, black, humanoid dog that wore traveler's clothes and white gloves with a hat that bent halfway and had buck teeth was dancing to the music and eating ice cream from a bucket with the name "GOOFY". phone suddenly rang and the ringing woke the boy up quickly. Goofy, the boy said quietly as he was just waking up as the phone rang, Goofy, he said again with no answer. GOOFY!, the boy yelled. Goofy heard the boy call his and turned down the music just in case his ears weren't playing tricks on him. GOOFY!, the boy called yet again. Always when I'm eating, Goofy said to himself. Goofy put down the bowl of ice cream and picked up a box of milkbones dog treats and headed to the front of the Winnebago. Goofy!, the boy yelled again as Goofy came up. What I do you for, boss?, Goofy asked the boy. Where have you been?, the boy responded. Just grabbin' myself a snack. You want some?, Goofy said as he put a treat to the boy's face, but the boy backed away. No!, the boy answered. C'mon, Goofy said, A little hair on the dot. Answer that will ya?, the asked Goofy. Ah, sure, Goofy said as his thin tail hit the boy, knocking the hat off. Will you watch that thing?, the boy asked Goofy. Oh sorry, Goofy said as he sat down, I'll just put it on audio, Goofy continued, That way they won't see ya, he accidently hit the video switch.

Yello, Goofy said as an image appeared on the screen. A younger boy appeared on the screen. He wore a green shirt and had a red hat on his head with three hair strands pointing out. Hello, Sora Starr, the younger boy said. Sorry, Goofy aplogized, wrong switch. Hello Kevin, what do you want?, Sora asked Kevin. No, no, no, no, no, Kevin answered. It's not what I want, Kevin said, It;s what he wants. the camera on the video turned an old man in his sixties with a grey mustache and hair. CARTER PEWTERSCHMIDT!, Sora, and Goofy yelled as they reconizied him. Well, if it isn't Sora Starr, and his side kick, Garf, Carter said. That's Goofy, Goofy corrected Carter. Garf, Goofy, whatever, Carter said in annoyance, Where's my money? Don't worry, Carter, Sora said with praise, You'll have it by next week. No,no, Carter told them, I gotta have it by tomorrow. A hundred thousand spacebucks, by tomorrow?, Sora asked. A hundred thousand?, Carter responded, Ha ha, ha, he continued, No way. You forgot late charges, which brings it up to, um, Carter said as he calculated the total price, one million spacebucks. A million?, Sora asked in shock, That's unfair. Unfair to pay all, Carter explained, but enough to pay eee, ha, ha, but you're gonna it or else. Or else what?, Goofy asked in fear. Tell 'em Kevin, Carter ordered. Or else Carter is gonna send out for you, Kevin said. Kevin and Carter both laughed and Carter took out a large pizza which Kevin took a slice of and took a bite. It's delicious, Kevin said. Chow boys, Carter, said. the two continued laughing nd eating the pizza, Sora and Goofy laughed quietly along and Goofy turned off the screen as Carter began coughing.

Meanwhile, Kairi, and Namine were flying the ship they took with luggage in the back of the ship. Music was quietly playing Kairi had two hair buns on the sides of her head. Namine finally began speaking. Can we talk? Namine asked. Kairi was quiet. Namine continued, Okay, we all know Prince Data is pilled, but you could've married him for father's sake, and have a headache for the next 25 years. Kairi remained quiet as if she was intentionally ignoring Namine. Will you turn that thing off, Namine told Kairi. What?, Kairi said a she toke off the buns which were really headphones that were playing music which became louder, What is it?, she asked. I was saying, do you realize what you've done, Namine said. Yes, Kairi responded, and I'm glad. Glad, glad, glad, glad, glad, Kairi said as she put the headphones back on and continued to listen to her music while driving. I wonder if she's glad, Namine said to herself, completely ignoring Kairi's remark.

Meanwhile in Spaceball city, in the inside of the president's office, a 16 year boy wearing a suit was on the phone. Don't be ridiculous, the boy said to the person on the phone, As the president of Planet Spaceball, I can assure you and your viewer, that there is absolutely no air shortage whatsoever. Yes, of course, I've heard the same rumor myself. Thanks, for calling, and not reversing the charges. Bye. The boy put the phone back on the reciever. Shithead he mumbled to himself to describe the person the phone. He opened a desk drawer filled with numerus cans he took one of the cans, which said "PERRIER SALT-FREE AIR, CANNED IN DRUIDIA", and opened it. He took deep breathes from the can. Suddenly, a woman with dark blue hair in a spaceball's commander's suit appeared on the wall and began talking. President Riku, She said. Riku was spooked by the suprise, turned around and threw the can away from view. Yes, Riku said. This is central control, Spaceball Commanerette Aqua speaking, sir, Aqua told Riku. Yes, what is it Commanderette?, Riku asked. Lord Roxas has informed us that Princess Kairi is in sight, and Spaaceball 1 is closing in on her, Aqua said. Good, good, Riku said with joy and an evil smirk. We have both ships coming up on the teledar, sir, if you wish to observe, Aqua told him. I'll beam down immediately, Riku said. Shall I have Wakko Warner beam you down?, She asked. Riku responded, I don't know about that beaming stuff. Is it Safe?. Oh yes, sir, Aqua said, Wakko beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful. All right, Riku said, I'll take a shot at it. What the hell. It works on Star Trek. Riku left his desk and stepped on the beam pad. Wakko, beam him down, Aqua ordered. Yes sir. Immediately, sir, Wakko responded.

Riku was beamed to the control center, but when arrived, his head was where the back of suit was. Gees feesetes, what's happened to his head!?, a Promethan knight said. It's on backwards, Aqua responded. This is terrible, Riku said in disappointment, Do something! I'm sorry sir, Wakko said, There must have been a microconverter malfunction. Riku lifted up the tail of his suit. Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big!, riku shouted and it to everyone. everyone else in the room snickered. Hold on sir, Wakko told Riku, We'll try and reverse the beam. Could be the interlocking system. Riku scrathed his leg. Wakko began flipping switches, Lock 1, Lock 2, Lock 3, Lock lone. Riku beamed back to his office with his head back to normal. Aqua reappeared on the wall. Are you all right, Mr. President, Aqua asked. Riku answered, Fine, fine no thanks to you. We'll beam you back, sir, Aqua suggested. Forget it. Forget it, Riku said in an irritated tone, No more beaming. This time I'm gonna walk. He walked to a door in his office and reentered the control room which was right next to his office, which had a quarter like object on the wall that showed his name and the side of his face. Aqua yelled, President Riku Salute! Everyone yelled, HAIL RIKU!, and salulted by placing their arms ike a cross and using the higher hand the wave thier fingers. Riku did the same. Hello President Riku, two girls said as he passed by, thier wore short, wore purple dresses, and had purple dresses. Oh, uh Hello Sherri, Riku told one girls. I'm Terri, she corrected him. Hello Terri, he told the other twin, I'm Sherri, the other twin said. Chew your gum, he told them. Riku then went up to Aqua. Where's the Princess?, Riku asked. Right there, sir, Aqua responded,she continued, On the left side of the screen approaching Spaceball 1, at fifteen hundred light leagues per minute. Good, good, Riku said, She's almost in our grasp, he gave Aqua her orders, Tell Dark Roxas that he must take the Princess alive.


End file.
